"You might be a redneck when you take a trip to the dump and bring back more than you took," is one redneck phrase that made comic, Jeff Foxworthy, famous. If I had to choose a topic to write about, I'd turn "redneck" into "menopause," and the phrases would go something like, "You might be in menopause when you spend more time rearranging the contents of your freezer than eating them, just to get a blast of cold air during a hot flash," or, "You might be in menopause when you discover that the local petting zoo's llama died, and you find yourself choking back tears, even though you didn't even know its name," or, "You might be in menopause when your body gives off enough heat during a hot flash to solve the world energy crisis." You get the picture. Similarly, you know you're at the Jasper County Public Library when you can check out the best new fiction titles around. Here are just a few of our newest to choose from.
It's been two years since Abbie Fox has seen her father, but a family crisis forces her to return to Nantucket, where her sisters, Lily and Emma, are struggling with losses of their own. As the summer wears on, each of the three sisters find themselves in unpredictable situations, undergoing personal transformations that may change their lives in "Beachcombers" by Nancy Thayer.
As a reporter for the Bergen County News, Chris Turley strives to live up to the legendary career of his father, Edward Turley, but never seems to make the grade. Everything changes for Chris, however, when an explosion rocks the building next door and Chris heroically saves five people from the burning building. Instant celebrity that he is, Chris receives an anonymous tip after the incident that leads him into a reporter's dream that quickly turns into a nightmare in "Down to the Wire" by David Rosenfelt.
You can't fool Mother Nature, and when Dr. Claus Rhumkorrf struggles with one experiment after another to replace failing human organs and tissue with that of animals, a process called xenotransplantation, he succeeds, only to regret it when his creation turns on him and society in general in "Ancestor" by Scott Sigler.
The dawn of a new day brings tragedy to the world of the Amish in "Pray for Silence." When the police are summoned to a small, quiet Amish family farm, they discover the horror of an entire family wiped out; brutally tortured and slain. With Kate Burkholder and Agent John Tomasetti investigating the case, one secret after another is revealed in this, the second book in the Kate Burkholder series by Linda Castillo.
Shep Knacker has plans for his nest egg. He thinks of this phase of his life as "The Afterlife," and when he sells his home repair business for a cool million bucks, he is ready to "get out of Dodge" and head for his dream retirement destination. His wife of twenty six years, Glynis, though has just returned from her doctor's appointment, and announces a medical condition that requires enough treatment that Shep's nest egg, as well as his plans for "The Afterlife" are irrevocably changed in "So Much for That" by Lionel Shriver.
If I had to choose one of the titles listed above to describe how I feel about menopause, it would have to be "So Much for That," and if you have to ask me why that is, "you might not be in menopause."
Friday, July 16, 2010
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